Why? you ask so sweetly.
Hmmmm...I daresay, this is becoming a pattern around here...
The gleam is still there, isn't it?
Only now, does it seem to have a bit of glassy glimmer in there?
Oh silly me, that's just the marble he swallowed last night.
With Real Gil currently eating Indian food somewhere not within Skype range, is it any surprise this is where our Sunday evening headed?
"No, you did not," I spouted confidently.
He nodded and repeated, "I fwallowed it."
"No, you did not?" I pleaded, mentally scrambling to change courses from bedtime to chaos-time.
He just smiled, loving the attention. Minutes later, as I hung up the phone with a nurse hotline, he jumped with delight, announcing to his worried sisters, "I'na go to ho-pital." His elation disturbed the quickly recruited Gramma who tried her best not to smile as I buckled him in to the carseat.
"I goin' to ho-pital and make new fwiends."
As my two-year old terror ran around the waiting room in his footsie pajamas, at least one stranger looked my direction, wondering what contagious ailment I could possibly have that would incite me to bring my toddler to the ER. It had to be me that was sick, because of course, it couldn't be the healthy, energetic ball of innocence in the zip-up jammies.
Nah, we're just here to collect all the unsightly germs from the pencaps and doorknobs before we head home to spread them, said my sarcastic double.
Makes me want to swim in Purell just thinking about it.
The guy with a clipboard called our name and Jedd skipped through the double doors.
And about twenty minutes later, he skipped back through those double doors.
One negative about having a perfectly positive ER visit: there are no negatives (for the two-year old, that is). Charming strangers? Getting your picture taken under a cool X-ray machine? Staying up late with Mama and no sisters?
In my mind, I was pulling on the back of the doctor's white coat, begging for the infliction of some pain - not too much to traumatize the kid, just enough to make the point. No needles? No IVs? Nothing?!!
Jedd loved it.
Want to know how I know, other than the sheer jubilation on his face last night? Two big clues.
The last two marbles to be found in my house.
Where did I find them?
Oh, just in his mouth this morning.
Thankfully, my shriek did not cause the child's swallow response to kick into gear. He spit them out and looked out me with confusion. Like a toddler racing towards mischief, I scrambled after the two marbles of madness. Then, I carried his wiggling, screaming mass into the time out chair for loving (kinda) discipline.
As the Real Gil returns home in
Other than writing weird poop posts, I'm busy trying to track down the chest x-ray the medical professionals took. My dearest thirdborn, stripped to nothing but white bones with gray clouds on black...and one mysterious, glowing circle sitting proudly in his stomach. I could have saved myself all of this time writing and just posted the x-ray, you'd get the point just as well (if not better!).
The first question is, where is it now?
Naturally, the second question is, what gear other than goggles and gloves should I use when bobbing for these apples?
Footnote 1: In "mother-time," it took me exactly twenty, Nap minutes* to come up with this list of disgusting poop synonyms (try googling THAT!), and another ten minutes to figure out how to do footnotes on Blogger. This was a very wise use of my time today. *Nap minutes are worth double as they are quiet, peaceful, precious moments in an otherwise not-quiet-nor-peaceful, but definitely precious day...except for the Tatertot Treasure Hunt (that one was a freebie.).