Have you ever found yourself looking at a person, and quickly panicking because you can't figure out if they are a male or female?!! I know I've told a mother her little girl was so cute, only to be told it's a boy. And much to my chagrin, I once told a girl in the high school locker room that she was in the wrong bathroom. If I could have fit in a stinky, sweaty P.E. locker, I would have readily climbed in, so red was my face.
But this will never happen to me again. And it doesn't have to happen to you.
Because I have the solution. Never again do you have to gently weasel your way around the topic with odd inuendos about football and mothering.
Babies, adults, seniors - this solution works for all.
I should patent it and make millions. Instead, out of the kindness of my generous heart, I will share it with you for free.
Are you ready for it?
Drum roll please...
Butternut squash soup.
Before the loud cymbal bong sarcastically, let me explain:
I love this soup. My daughters love this soup. My mother, my grandmother, my sisters, my female friends. We could all gather around the soup pot with straws and you would see a miracle - women who are not talking. Because their mouths are full of butternut goodness.
My husband dislikes this soup. My three-year old son scrunches up his nose and refuses to even try it. My father refers to it as baby food. I know better than to even try it out on my father-in-law.
So, I'm sure you've got the idea. Ladle some of this liquid gold into a small baby jar and carry it around in your purse. When one of those awkward moments of gender-questionability arises, simply shove a spoonful of the mixture into their mouth and wait for the sputter, or the eye-closing savor.
If you are a man reading this, I mean you no disrespect. But this is just baby food. I understand. You will never, ever, EVER serve this on Superbowl Sunday. I get that.
If you are a woman reading this, take this recipe and make some excuse to have women over - lunch, biblestudy, counseling, whatever. It might take a little time to peel and chop, but it will be well worth it. As long as you don't serve it to your husband. Just see if I'm not right.
Without further ado:
butter (about 3 tablespoons)
2 leeks, 1/2 an onion, or some shallots, chopped
1 butternut squash, peeled, seeded, and cubed
1-2 apples, peeled and cubed
1 potato, peeled and cubed
4 cups chicken broth (or 4 cups boiling water with 2 Tablespoons of Better Than Boullion)
1 and 1/2 teaspoons salt
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
2 cups milk, half n' half, or cream (I use 1 and 3/4 cup skim milk, and 1/4 cup half n' half)
1 tablespoon of real maple syrup (optional)
Garnishes may include fresh bread, parmesan cheese, or even sour cream.
Melt your butter in a big soup pot. Add the onions (or leeks), and saute for a minute or two.
Then, add the cubed squash.
And your cubed apples and potatoes.
Don't forget the broth, salt, pepper, and nutmeg. Simmer uncovered for around forty minutes (or an hour if the phone rings).
Then, after it cools a bit, puree the entire batch in a food processor or blender. Then, add the milk, half n' half, or cream and stir for a few more minutes on low. You may want to taste the soup at this point and add whatever you want. Garnish how you want. Personally, I can't eat a bowl of this without my Riceworks chips.
Baby food, schmaby food.