Friday, January 1, 2010

The "F" word...

I don't "do" New Year's resolutions. Never have. Probably because I'm such a perfectionist, I understand that resolving to do something (either big or small) on a given day of the year and perhaps every day after that, is only setting myself up for failure. And that word, hard to even type it as my left hand lingers over the "f" button, f-f-f-failure (gulp) is a little bit of an issue for me. It conjures up images from long ago...when I spelled "potpourri" wrong in the seventh grade spelling bee...when I struck out in the ninth inning of varsity softball playoffs...and images from not-so-long ago, like last month when I yelled at the top of my lungs for the kids to stop yelling...or when I agreed to make Christmas Eve dinner for our extended family last week and showed up with styrofoam boxes of Chinese food. And acted like that was completely planned, right down to the soy sauce packets.

However, that was then. This is now. And I'm going into uncharted territories. A personal blog of my own. Read at your own risk. You'll see I'm afraid of failure, but I'm not afraid to tell you all about it afterwards (for reference, see above paragraph). I claim no consistent schedules, no daily posts, no failures-on-Friday weekly articles. Just me, free for the taking. When you're feeling bad about yourself, you come on over and I'll air out some dirty laundry for you. You'll leave feeling so much better.

Just to start it off, shall I tell you about the time I accidentally left my four-month old son in the stroller at Disneyland and GOT ON A RIDE??? But the other two kids were smartly dressed with well-ventilated walking shoes, fresh coats of sunscreen, and personalized dog tags in the event that they were lost. Does that get me any bonus points? F-f-failures abound in this blog. But more so, Jesus abounds.

Yes, "failure" is one of my least favorite words.

But have I mentioned one of my most favorite words. Freedom. No stuttering on that one. It's what has me trying to figure out what the heck HTML stands for and what McLinky means. All because freedom is bigger, it's sweeter, than any failure I've experienced. So, starting a blog is for ME - to document the freedom that I continue to unearth - and if I'm being perfectly honest, it's for YOU - to warmly welcome you into my hideaway where we can commiserate on those I'm-a-failure-because-my-kids-eat-frozen-non-organic-waffles, and where we can dance whatever bizarre dance God gives us each day. Because His freedom, this act of surrendering to Him, makes it all - both the best and the worst, and anything in between - glorifying.

Thank you for reading about my failures - P-o-t-p-o-u-r-r-i, that is such a terrible spelling word for a 12-year old. C'mon. If I could have talked smack at that age (or this age), I would've given them an earful. Ridiculous. Sigh. But I'm over it. Can't you tell?

And thank you for rejoicing in my freedom. "If the Son has set you free, you are free indeed."

1 comment:

Alicia said...

I remember my word- Badminton. Did you know there was an "n" in there? How would a 6th grader know that?

But, thanks for sharing your faiures with me. I know it's risky and I'm so honored to get to start reading this. I have a feeling this will be a perfect outlet for you and a marvelous gift for your readers. Love ya, sis....